Identity Crisis

I'm discovering that shopping for clothes in Second Life is making me nearly as tense as in real life. While it is exciting and fresh to pick up new threads, I believe I adopted my father's "get-in, get-out" attitude towards the "mall." I've taken a break from shopping to update the blog now.

That said, two factors are advising my current avatar's appearance:

1. Second Life has only reinforced to me that I am very uncomfortable with being in one place at one time. I'm antsy and indecisive and the most available respite from this tends to be attempted humor. This frustrates me even now, in Second Life, because I find myself getting worked up over something as silly as choosing a definite look for my avatar. I wouldn't say that my lack of finality comes from a lack of care...more so apprehension under what feels like a very real pressure. It's wild that here and now the game can affect someone like this.

2. I am currently eating a cheeseburger.

This avatar was only $79L and was available alongside a slew of edible characters, each priced at $79L under the "Complete Monsters" category on marketplace.secondlife.com.

It will most likely not be the last of my incarnations, which currently include a small owl, a ninja, and a rockstar in a leather jacket. (All marvels of Second Life coding and artistry in my opinion.)

My avatar's name, "VincentCarroltheThird", was far more decisive. My father's name is Vincent Carrol Bowhers Jr.. Grandfather, of course, being the senior. If dad had had his way, I would have been Vincent Carrol Bowhers III. My being named John instead has greatly influenced me as of late, particularly as I've begun to notice my fathers traits in my everyday life. I wonder if I can live up to his expectations and accomplishments, and tend to gauge myself against him.